Networking is not selling - Karl Smith - Cape Town based networking guru

Too often, business people are overheard complaining because they are not getting enough from networking. “I didn’t get any orders”, “there were no useful leads”, “no-one in the room was interested in my products or services” are typical outbursts. The reason for this disappointment is that they are fundamentally failing to understand what networking is – and what it is not.

Networking is not a contrived Meet The Buyer session and no-one has conveniently assembled a group of warmed buyers for an event or function. “So many of us experience networking as selling, when that is a criminal way to use the first few moments of our time with one another” says Karl Smith author and founder of Business Networking South Africa. True, if you’re at a business conference, much of that time it may be highly transactional. But not all the time. Nor should that sales focus be carried on throughout all your interactions, no matter what line of work you’re in.

Networking is not, and never was, selling. It’s mutually beneficial relationship building. Regardless of the motivation or intent, networking is an avenue to meet and establish a level of trust among people. We earn the right to do business through gracious exchanges, one step at a time. By treating those we meet with courtesy, and being open, soft and curious. This genuineness opens doors to possibilities, which are endless. If we look at everyone as a potential client, we miss the point.

What is the distinction between Sales and Networking?  Often sales are masked as networking. Sales can be seen as a motivation for networking, since it requires some basis of relationship, but the intent and objectives are clearly different.  If you are selling (a product, service, solution) it is your ultimate goal to close a sale, make the deal and move on to the next.  Networking intent involves a sincere effort to get to know and understand the other person.  As many of us have been the recipients for both Sales and Networking approaches, we can attest to the ease of distinguishing the motives.

In a new relationship, as soon as you start selling, the other person stops listening.  Your motives and agenda are clear.  You do not truly have an interest in the other person, only the business opportunity they can bring to you.  Think of all the times you have met someone new who all they did was brag about themselves (selling) or what they do (selling) or how they have a solution for you (selling).  Now how engaged and excited were you in that conversation?  Bet you couldn’t wait till it was over!  Whether a conversation over coffee or a business meeting, such an approach is an immediate turn off!  Try deactivating your sales button and just be you.

Here are seven ideas to help you get the most from your networking:

·         Proactively seek the right new contacts

Identify who you want to meet, where you are likely to meet them and how you will follow up. Invest quality time thinking about the people who can best offer you the right information, contacts and opportunities. Build relationships with these people by understanding what you have to offer them.

Start by asking yourself: Where are the best places to make face to face contact with them? Answering this question will help you decide which organizations you should belong to and which events you should attend.

·         Set intentions

When you attend a networking event always have an intention. This is vitally important, as it is your own secret mission. Setting intentions can be easy and fun. They can be big and small. The intention you set reminds you the whole time why you are there and compels you into action to make sure you get it.

·         Take a genuine interest in others

Once in a conversation, listen to others and show interest. You have two ears and one mouth – use them in proportion. By listening and helping others, they are more likely to help you. Talk about them, not about you: People bore very quickly when the conversation is focused solely on you, however fascinating you may find yourself.

·         Remember that small talk leads to big talk

It's easy to dismiss small talk as superficial and pointless. You surely don't want to spend too much time at networking events talking about the weather, the Red Sox or the quality of the cheese and crackers. But it's important to remember that small talk paves the way for big talk. Small talk breaks the ice, and allows you to get a sense of the other person's personality. Small talk can help you listen for common ground, common interests and other factors that will allow the conversation to naturally advance into a conversation about business.

·         Avoid talking too much about your products or services

If someone pointedly asks you, then request their business card and contact them later to ask if they want more information. A networking event is not the place to get deeply into it. Even if someone says they're interested they won't really be able to focus.

·         Connect other people

A key factor in networking success is building the positive relationships with people that lead to your reputation as helpful and knowledgeable — as someone that people want to do business with. You might not need the services of the interior designer that you met at a lunch presentation, but perhaps you know someone who does. Passing along the designer's contact information might be useful for both parties, who might well appreciate your gesture.

·         Honour your commitments

If you say that you are going to do something – do it. By not doing so, you will give the impression that you are not reliable. Others will not do business with people that come across as unreliable or do not stick to an agreed commitment. Do not develop that reputation.

After you have established the relationship, have shown a genuine concern in their business, they will feel comfortable in referring your services to another or they will hire you to solve their problem. In addition since you have now established yourself as a true friend and business associate they will continue to refer your services and will go out of their way to help you succeed in return.

Karl Smith is set to launch the annual Avontuur Networking Business Breakfast sessions for the fifth year on 13 March 2013 to be hosted at the scenic Avontuur Wine Estate in Cape Town. His annual talks are popular and this year he will explore the subject, Get More Client: Fall in love with marketing and selling. Contact Zunia at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. for more information.